Well as some sort of a “reward” for some sort of “achievement” I went out and bought myself a Game cube. Just another way to waste the 18 minutes or so a day that I haven’t wasted already. I’m much more of a recreational gamer than a hardcore one: things like colecovision and pong were the provence of my rich “spoiled’ relatives and I only had a grudging access to them once every few months. Speaking of which: electronic gaming monthly is crap for the most part, but this is definitely worth a look: http://www.egmmag.com/article2/0,4364,1338730,00.asp
LOL. I loved the article. It reminds me of those black music disks old people use. I’m glad Nintendo is re-releaseing many of the better Super Nintendo games in Game Boy Advance format. I didn’t have a console as a kid and was SO jealous that all six of the McKinney kids AND thier dad had saved the princess. I was so jazzed when I got it for Game Boy and saved her for the first time for myself.
I’ve been thinkin’ about pickin’ up a `cube for myself once Pokémon Stadium comes out. Looks like that won’t happen `til next spring though. My Pokémon can kick your Pokémons’ asses.
Heh, I remember Colecovision. My parents had an “Intellivision” and my neighbors had the first Nintendo on the block… I love all the old 8 bit games…
I’m not so big on the latest and greatest. I like all the old classics like Pong, and Mario Bros. If I’m going to be stuck inside playing video games, I really don’t want to have to put too much thought into them. I should still be able to play them 3 sheets to the wind drunk or high… THAT to me is the mark of a great video game.
What game did you get?
And before I know the answer, I will say my aforementioned recommendations take more than 18 minutes to play (I know, I can only stomach about 40 per setting) – but garsh the visuals and mechanics are fun while they last.
The Village Voice, of all places, does surprising good video game reviews. (Search for the “Joysticks” column either directly or through the “Machine Age” category on the left.) Here are a couple interesting sounding ones for the ‘Cube:
Ultimate Muscle: Legends Vs. New Generation
For GameCube
Developer Aki Corporation
Publisher Bandai
Rating 8 (out of 10)
This is the most homoerotic game ever. Sure, all masculine activities thrum with repressed desire. But even the male-stripper stereotypes of the WWE can’t compare to Ultimate Muscle’s anime-rendered Village People lineup. Take blond-mulleted prep Terry Kenyon. Nearly bursting out of his suspenders, he’s a “Texas bronco with a hot temper and a tender heart.” Handsome German Brocken Jr. sports a military uniform, cap pulled low over his eyes, and coy smile; his “student,” Jeager, wears brass buttons and a bicycle helmet. The “hairy and unrefined” Wally Tusket literally embodies both the bear and furry fetishes, with a walrus head and bare barrel-chest peeking from his coat. And appropriately, Kevin Mask draws on his “latent power.” The names of main protagonists Kid and King Muscle speak for themselves, as does Dik Dik Van Dik, and the fan-suggested Dazz Ling and Mr. French.
Based on Fox’s Saturday-morning anime cartoon of the same name (itself based on ’80s action figures!), Ultimate Muscle’s plot revolves around the “Muscle League,” who once “saved the people of earth by defeating evil villains,” and their young, brash allies, the “New Generation.” The trainer of both groups, Meat (cough, cough), pits one against the other to see who will come out on top. The storied wrestling developer Aki last produced the overexposed licensing coup Def Jam Vendetta. Their much fresher approach here makes the most of the ‘toon’s whimsical weirdness. The fanciful settings, story mode full of bitchy trash-talking (voiced by the American television actors), customizable everything, and series of attacks that culminate in nutty cut scenes bring life to a sometimes plodding genre. Finally, vibrant cel-shaded graphics perfectly complement the Fruity Pebbles sugar-buzz action, which relies on quick combos and acrobatics rather than the WWE’s folding chairs and ladders. Every man wants to be a macho, macho man—hey!
THE SIMPSONS: HIT & RUN
For: GameCube, PS2, Xbox (review copy)
Developer: Radical Entertainment
Publisher: Vivendi Universal Games
Rating: 9 (out of 10)
Yes, sadly, in the end Bart may just be part and parcel of the decadence and nihilism that pervades our era.” So opines lowbrow browbeater Mark T. Conard in his essay “Thus Spake Bart: On Nietzsche and the Virtues of Being Bad,” which appears in the decidedly less than vigorous but still boring The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D’oh! of Homer. And who better than our anagrammatic brat-boy-if-not-übermensch to lead the hee-larious tutorial for the best Simpsons license yet? “Violence,” Bart deadpans as you crash your pink convertible into mailboxes and monuments to earn coins, “is always an appropriate response in the face of the unknown.” It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
This delightful, deep, and detailed (but unfortunately not cartoon-style cel-shaded) rip on the Grand Theft Auto series critiques itself better than any untenured academic could. The simple mini-game races you run get ticked off by, among others, paste-eater Ralph, who counts, “One, one, one, go!” Run over Nelson on a mission to find items you’ve borrowed from Flanders, and the bully spits, “My dad hits me harder than that!” Beating a prostitute in Vice City suddenly seems so banal—and you don’t even have any weapons at your disposal! With each level—manned in turn by chatty Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Apu—a corporate-conspiracy-addled Springfield grows. Find hundreds of obscure landmarks and clips from memorable episodes. Or cruise through downtown, the suburbs, and into the sticks, where nuke-green sewage runs in the streets and the slack-jawed yokel Cletus falls under your pricey wheels. Nihilistic? I think not.
Kick or lick?
The only Pokemon I approve of is Slowbro http://www.edbydesign.com/servlets/servlet/pokedex?Subject=Pokemon&ID=80 . Basically I like pokemon that lie around and don’t do anything.
Software rundown:
I bought:
Luigi’s Mansion- looks nice but I fear that it will be repetetive
Dave Mirra’s BMX – already regretting this, shoulda bought TH4
StarFox Adventures – I remember enjoying earlier Starfox games, this is more of an RPG it seems, as well as being furry porn.
Pikmin – this was a game I was really interested in when GC came out. Haven’t cracked the box yet.
Godzilla Destroy all Monsters melee – well who doesn’t want to crush buildings and fight Baragon?
The thing you have to rememebr is that I’m pretty cheap, so my game choice is determined as much by what I can find on sale used as by what appeals to me. Nome of these has taken me into the pure realm of enjoyable thumb candy that I look for in games, but I do feel relatively satisfied.
Slackermon
SlowBro
isn’t the only lazy Pokémon. My favorite is Snorelax 
. He learns moves like “Rest” and “Snore” all by himself, and you can teach him “Posion Gas.” It is a shame I have to settle for using Slacking 
for now `cause Snorelax 
isn’t included in the current version of the game.
I suspect you just like SlowBro
`cause he is pink. You should meet his friend Lickitung 
. I think he Japanese name is Rimmuass.
Re: Slackermon
I was going to mention Snorlax before, thanks for bringing him up. I myself have learned the moves “Rest” and “Snore”. I also like Psyduck’s pathetic, frenzied incompetence. While Slobro’s pinkness is a selling point I’m more attracted to the fact that in order to evolve, a weird crustacean type thing has to clamp itself onto his ass.
Is everyone else scared enough yet?
Kick or lick?
The only Pokemon I approve of is Slowbro http://www.edbydesign.com/servlets/servlet/pokedex?Subject=Pokemon&ID=80 . Basically I like pokemon that lie around and don’t do anything.
Software rundown:
I bought:
Luigi’s Mansion- looks nice but I fear that it will be repetetive
Dave Mirra’s BMX – already regretting this, shoulda bought TH4
StarFox Adventures – I remember enjoying earlier Starfox games, this is more of an RPG it seems, as well as being furry porn.
Pikmin – this was a game I was really interested in when GC came out. Haven’t cracked the box yet.
Godzilla Destroy all Monsters melee – well who doesn’t want to crush buildings and fight Baragon?
The thing you have to rememebr is that I’m pretty cheap, so my game choice is determined as much by what I can find on sale used as by what appeals to me. Nome of these has taken me into the pure realm of enjoyable thumb candy that I look for in games, but I do feel relatively satisfied.
Re: Slackermon
I was going to mention Snorlax before, thanks for bringing him up. I myself have learned the moves “Rest” and “Snore”. I also like Psyduck’s pathetic, frenzied incompetence. While Slobro’s pinkness is a selling point I’m more attracted to the fact that in order to evolve, a weird crustacean type thing has to clamp itself onto his ass.
Is everyone else scared enough yet?