I have to confess that I am a gay marriage skeptic. Over the years I’ve been involved in any number of events that have questioned the necessity for gay marriage and the way that it has assumed center stage in queer organizing over the past decade, pushing aside many other goals I felt to be more important.

In a nutshell, my position is this: the state has no business rewarding any kind of love or living arrangement, period. While I can see the importance of families and communities celebrating a relationship, the government should butt out of it. I hope for social transformation, not just accommodation.

But I also feel that it is impossible to be unmoved by the pictures and stories coming out of California, both those of people I know and those of whom I have long admired. While it is not a choice I would make, I join so many others in the world in applauding those people who are celebrating today and those who worked long and hard for them. It is really history in the flesh. It warms this crabby old heart of mine. If you’ve gotten married or are about to, I’m genuinely happy for you.

All blessings on you!