In my experience, some guys who you think don’t know you’re alive simply aren’t open to the idea that someone might be attracted to them. There was a guy who sometimes frequented the deli I worked at. I would flirt with him like there’s no tomorrow, and never got a flicker of a response. I really wanted him, so one day I simply thrust my phone number at him with his order. He looked stunned, but he called, and we ended up meeting and fucking. Fun times. I never got as much sex as the two years I worked at that deli (it was in the gay village here).
For your initiative. I generally just pine and pine in silence or if someone else displays interest, say at a bar, I freeze up. You can imagine how well that technique works!
As for guts, there’s nothing sadder than a guy with a nice one who’s ashamed of it. Remember men, Don’t be afraid to exhale!
Well, working in the gay village really helped. At the deli, the same people would come in more than once, so I had time to build my courage and come up with an approach that would work for a particular um, victim. Plus, they had to come talk to me to give me their order, so no need for lame ice breakers!
As for your second statement – YES! One of my pet peeves is a big guy who wears his belt over his belly instead of under it. This is what you’ve got – might as well show it off for those of us who will appreciate it!
In my experience, some guys who you think don’t know you’re alive simply aren’t open to the idea that someone might be attracted to them. There was a guy who sometimes frequented the deli I worked at. I would flirt with him like there’s no tomorrow, and never got a flicker of a response. I really wanted him, so one day I simply thrust my phone number at him with his order. He looked stunned, but he called, and we ended up meeting and fucking. Fun times. I never got as much sex as the two years I worked at that deli (it was in the gay village here).
For your initiative. I generally just pine and pine in silence or if someone else displays interest, say at a bar, I freeze up. You can imagine how well that technique works!
As for guts, there’s nothing sadder than a guy with a nice one who’s ashamed of it. Remember men, Don’t be afraid to exhale!
Well, working in the gay village really helped. At the deli, the same people would come in more than once, so I had time to build my courage and come up with an approach that would work for a particular um, victim. Plus, they had to come talk to me to give me their order, so no need for lame ice breakers!
As for your second statement – YES! One of my pet peeves is a big guy who wears his belt over his belly instead of under it. This is what you’ve got – might as well show it off for those of us who will appreciate it!
I’m almost totally blind to people’s interest in me; I’ve remarked before that apparently this “reads” as disinterest or “giving attitude”. A guy has to be pretty determined to get past that to the point of coming over to me and (for instance) giving me a tummy rub and saying how he’d like to go (someplace private)…. That’s sufficiently direct that I’ll “get it.”
I don’t know if it’s related, but when I am fascinated with someone, I apparently don’t display that clearly — even to someone who does (generally) pick up on people’s interest.
There are two gents I know that at various points I rather seriously pissed off because I was so much in horndog mode over them I missed/ignored the “sorry, not interested” signs. Fortunately I’ve been able to rescue both friendships. I suppose these experiences are part of the reason I’m not more direct about such things — I’d rather just keep the lust-object as a friend (where I can at least enjoy the view) than risk pissing him off and not being able to interact with him at all.
It’s hard enough with one shy person in the picture – with two, things become nearly impossible. But I have to say that people should be able to say/hear both the phrases “I think you’re hot” and “Sorry, I’m not interested” without getting seriously pissed off. Maybe you were over looking things, but maybe they could have been posting clearer signs. In any event, I think it’s better to get it out of the way than to live with it. I know that with case number 2 above we’d have a better friendship today if I had just been able to speak up even if he wasn’t into it. As it was there was a constant tension about what wasn’t said.
I’m almost totally blind to people’s interest in me; I’ve remarked before that apparently this “reads” as disinterest or “giving attitude”. A guy has to be pretty determined to get past that to the point of coming over to me and (for instance) giving me a tummy rub and saying how he’d like to go (someplace private)…. That’s sufficiently direct that I’ll “get it.”
I don’t know if it’s related, but when I am fascinated with someone, I apparently don’t display that clearly — even to someone who does (generally) pick up on people’s interest.
There are two gents I know that at various points I rather seriously pissed off because I was so much in horndog mode over them I missed/ignored the “sorry, not interested” signs. Fortunately I’ve been able to rescue both friendships. I suppose these experiences are part of the reason I’m not more direct about such things — I’d rather just keep the lust-object as a friend (where I can at least enjoy the view) than risk pissing him off and not being able to interact with him at all.
It’s hard enough with one shy person in the picture – with two, things become nearly impossible. But I have to say that people should be able to say/hear both the phrases “I think you’re hot” and “Sorry, I’m not interested” without getting seriously pissed off. Maybe you were over looking things, but maybe they could have been posting clearer signs. In any event, I think it’s better to get it out of the way than to live with it. I know that with case number 2 above we’d have a better friendship today if I had just been able to speak up even if he wasn’t into it. As it was there was a constant tension about what wasn’t said.
If someone says “Sorry, not interested” I don’t get pissed off… a tad disappointed, perhaps. The problem probably involved the two men in question not wanting to hurt my feelings, or “make a scene” or the like; the problem was that’s what wound up happening because I wasn’t getting a clear (to me) answer.
Mind you, if either one changed his mind, I’d be all over ‘em in a hot second.
If someone says “Sorry, not interested” I don’t get pissed off… a tad disappointed, perhaps. The problem probably involved the two men in question not wanting to hurt my feelings, or “make a scene” or the like; the problem was that’s what wound up happening because I wasn’t getting a clear (to me) answer.
Mind you, if either one changed his mind, I’d be all over ‘em in a hot second.
I do love a beautiful gut…
In my experience, some guys who you think don’t know you’re alive simply aren’t open to the idea that someone might be attracted to them. There was a guy who sometimes frequented the deli I worked at. I would flirt with him like there’s no tomorrow, and never got a flicker of a response. I really wanted him, so one day I simply thrust my phone number at him with his order. He looked stunned, but he called, and we ended up meeting and fucking. Fun times. I never got as much sex as the two years I worked at that deli (it was in the gay village here).
Bravo…
For your initiative. I generally just pine and pine in silence or if someone else displays interest, say at a bar, I freeze up. You can imagine how well that technique works!
As for guts, there’s nothing sadder than a guy with a nice one who’s ashamed of it. Remember men, Don’t be afraid to exhale!
Well, working in the gay village really helped. At the deli, the same people would come in more than once, so I had time to build my courage and come up with an approach that would work for a particular um, victim. Plus, they had to come talk to me to give me their order, so no need for lame ice breakers!
As for your second statement – YES! One of my pet peeves is a big guy who wears his belt over his belly instead of under it. This is what you’ve got – might as well show it off for those of us who will appreciate it!
Annie Leibovitz? Kinky!
Has to be Catherine Opie. Just don’t let her write anything on you.
I do love a beautiful gut…
In my experience, some guys who you think don’t know you’re alive simply aren’t open to the idea that someone might be attracted to them. There was a guy who sometimes frequented the deli I worked at. I would flirt with him like there’s no tomorrow, and never got a flicker of a response. I really wanted him, so one day I simply thrust my phone number at him with his order. He looked stunned, but he called, and we ended up meeting and fucking. Fun times. I never got as much sex as the two years I worked at that deli (it was in the gay village here).
Bravo…
For your initiative. I generally just pine and pine in silence or if someone else displays interest, say at a bar, I freeze up. You can imagine how well that technique works!
As for guts, there’s nothing sadder than a guy with a nice one who’s ashamed of it. Remember men, Don’t be afraid to exhale!
Well, working in the gay village really helped. At the deli, the same people would come in more than once, so I had time to build my courage and come up with an approach that would work for a particular um, victim. Plus, they had to come talk to me to give me their order, so no need for lame ice breakers!
As for your second statement – YES! One of my pet peeves is a big guy who wears his belt over his belly instead of under it. This is what you’ve got – might as well show it off for those of us who will appreciate it!
Annie Leibovitz? Kinky!
Has to be Catherine Opie. Just don’t let her write anything on you.
I think I know how you feel.
I’m almost totally blind to people’s interest in me; I’ve remarked before that apparently this “reads” as disinterest or “giving attitude”. A guy has to be pretty determined to get past that to the point of coming over to me and (for instance) giving me a tummy rub and saying how he’d like to go (someplace private)…. That’s sufficiently direct that I’ll “get it.”
I don’t know if it’s related, but when I am fascinated with someone, I apparently don’t display that clearly — even to someone who does (generally) pick up on people’s interest.
There are two gents I know that at various points I rather seriously pissed off because I was so much in horndog mode over them I missed/ignored the “sorry, not interested” signs. Fortunately I’ve been able to rescue both friendships. I suppose these experiences are part of the reason I’m not more direct about such things — I’d rather just keep the lust-object as a friend (where I can at least enjoy the view) than risk pissing him off and not being able to interact with him at all.
It’s hard enough with one shy person in the picture – with two, things become nearly impossible. But I have to say that people should be able to say/hear both the phrases “I think you’re hot” and “Sorry, I’m not interested” without getting seriously pissed off. Maybe you were over looking things, but maybe they could have been posting clearer signs. In any event, I think it’s better to get it out of the way than to live with it. I know that with case number 2 above we’d have a better friendship today if I had just been able to speak up even if he wasn’t into it. As it was there was a constant tension about what wasn’t said.
I think I know how you feel.
I’m almost totally blind to people’s interest in me; I’ve remarked before that apparently this “reads” as disinterest or “giving attitude”. A guy has to be pretty determined to get past that to the point of coming over to me and (for instance) giving me a tummy rub and saying how he’d like to go (someplace private)…. That’s sufficiently direct that I’ll “get it.”
I don’t know if it’s related, but when I am fascinated with someone, I apparently don’t display that clearly — even to someone who does (generally) pick up on people’s interest.
There are two gents I know that at various points I rather seriously pissed off because I was so much in horndog mode over them I missed/ignored the “sorry, not interested” signs. Fortunately I’ve been able to rescue both friendships. I suppose these experiences are part of the reason I’m not more direct about such things — I’d rather just keep the lust-object as a friend (where I can at least enjoy the view) than risk pissing him off and not being able to interact with him at all.
It’s hard enough with one shy person in the picture – with two, things become nearly impossible. But I have to say that people should be able to say/hear both the phrases “I think you’re hot” and “Sorry, I’m not interested” without getting seriously pissed off. Maybe you were over looking things, but maybe they could have been posting clearer signs. In any event, I think it’s better to get it out of the way than to live with it. I know that with case number 2 above we’d have a better friendship today if I had just been able to speak up even if he wasn’t into it. As it was there was a constant tension about what wasn’t said.
If someone says “Sorry, not interested” I don’t get pissed off… a tad disappointed, perhaps. The problem probably involved the two men in question not wanting to hurt my feelings, or “make a scene” or the like; the problem was that’s what wound up happening because I wasn’t getting a clear (to me) answer.
Mind you, if either one changed his mind, I’d be all over ‘em in a hot second.
If someone says “Sorry, not interested” I don’t get pissed off… a tad disappointed, perhaps. The problem probably involved the two men in question not wanting to hurt my feelings, or “make a scene” or the like; the problem was that’s what wound up happening because I wasn’t getting a clear (to me) answer.
Mind you, if either one changed his mind, I’d be all over ‘em in a hot second.