I spent most of today at Kink For All, a kind of cross between a conference and speed dating for the alternative sexualities communities. I initially thought I wasn’t going to go at all, as I was getting things done around the house. Then I decided I would drop in for an hour. Once there, I stayed until it ended: five hours. I did a presentation, saw friends and soaked up the great good will that permeated the event.

I went in skeptical given the looseness of the organizational structure. But it all worked, in part because everyone who came committed to doing something to make the event a success. It was a low pressure volunteerism, that might not work for achieving other sorts of goals, but was perfect for something of this scope.

Presentations were twenty minutes apiece, which allowed people who didn’t have full topics to step forward and start discussions, and encouraged the more seasoned people to keep it crisp. I heard a lot of interesting discussion, and that’s what kept me around. It was exciting to learn how many people are thinking deeply about issues of gender and kink.

If New York is going to move beyond its current sexual doldrums, it will be because of many different people working on many different fronts. Today felt like a good step towards that.