In my dream I am at what I know to be a “traditional Indonesian play”: painted wooden sets that slide from the front to the back of the stage as performers in bright costumes covered in shivering silk tassels sing in deep voices and martial rhythms.

In my dream I can’t afford to buy the building and when I look I’m wearing a small swim suit and cut away shorts so it’s out into the night streets of downtown Brooklyn with J to try to find at least a pair of sweatpants but the crowds are rowdy which makes J impatient when I demand that they hold my hand for safety in the jostling darkness.